the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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