can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The power of my boobs compel you
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Text me some of your sweat
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
