i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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