apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
