True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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