so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
