The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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