Quick, to the slutcave!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
