Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
