ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
