a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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