just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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