Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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