Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
