if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize