I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
