I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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