Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
