Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
