I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
