Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
