it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
