His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
