Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
