whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
