I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
