I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
