Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Non-Jews are for practice
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He passed out mid-signature
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize