we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
should my penis look like a turkey
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
