Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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