Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
