Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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