grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
this boner is exhausting
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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