So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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