Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
