did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
