i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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