Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
