Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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