I have demons in me.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
