WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
