so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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