I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize