omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
