Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
