Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
