So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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