i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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