So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
