I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He felt like a one man threesome
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
