I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
