i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
