Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
