everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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