actually, I'm a sock model
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
