I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
