check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
