1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
