I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
its liver damage thursday
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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