You can't special order awesome
accomplished twins. life is a go
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
