MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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